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[30 May 2006|12:37am] |
so lately...
working a lot. I'm really going to miss Caroline, she better come down for christmas. my cousin Erica is about to burst. I'm on a rollercoaster lately, just lots of things happening, oddly busy for summer. I got real pearls from my mom for my birthday :) they're beautiful. I really should write in this thing....but then again, I always say that.
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[26 Feb 2006|10:12pm] |
I got a call this morning from my best friend from elementary and middle school, Tara. She told me what I have now heard three times about the people I went to St.Judes with, "I don't know if you've heard, but....". now Laura. Friday night/saturday morning, at 3:30am. She was riding with Jessica, the car flipped over. She died at the scene, Jessica is in the hospital. "I'll call you when I find out about the funeral, I'll call you when I find out more". This hasn't happened since 8th grade, when Alicia died, then later Mark. I can't even imagine what Jessica's going through. It's kind of sad that this is what brings us together, I hadn't seen Laura since we played Gibbs last year, I hadn't talked to Tara since September. I'd know Laura since we were 5, we carpooled, we hung out, we cheered together, but like all of my friends from back then, we had grown apart. That choice was mine, I went to Bogie because I wanted a new life. She went to Gibbs for the same reason, Tara went to St.Pete Catholic with everyone else. We got new lives, we talked less and less, a slow but sure separation. But when something happens, we can still count on each other, Tara still has my number after all...
RIP Laura Gorman, you are in our prayers.
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| college, tires, and thoes who plunder France. |
[08 Jan 2006|12:17am] |
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no doubt - tragic kingdom |
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ahh, livejournal...it's been ages. Maybe I'll start writing in you again. So second semester starts monday, geez...second semester of college...wow. It's going too fast, and I'm liking it too much. College is like camp, seriously. You live in a building with a bunch of other people your same age, you have a roommate or 2, you have RA's...which are basically counselors (they monitor the hall, make up little activities, do room checks, etc.). It's kinda weird to live at your school...almost unnatural. It's also odd, but very nice, to literally live next to hundreds of people your same age. True, any of the people who are reading this journal who have or currently do live in a dorm have long since made these observations and now consider them everyday life probably think I'm a bit slow for writing about it all now, but humor me, this is what, my second post since the start of school, had to write about it sometime. So why am I writing right now anyway, you may ask yourselves. Well, because I am stranded in St.Pete and bored out of my mind. When I got in my car this evening to leave for Tampa to pick up the viking boyfriend and then to Gainesville for the obvious reason, my mom noticed my back tire was flat. Damnit. So I have to now wait until tomorrow morning to get a tire from Sears or something, and then leave for Gainesville. I need to stop being late for everything, I try not to be, but my feeble efforts are no match for time. I'm just kind of mad and depressed right now, which is unfair to everyone around me, and that makes me feel worse...vicious cycle. oh well, I just hope my tire gets fixed tomorrow, being there the first day of class might be good. Christmas break made me realize a trivial thing, I over-pack way too much, like ridiculously too much. It's just shameful. Anyhow, speaking of Christmas break, or Winter break...whatever you want to call it, let's talk about it. But first, let's talk about boys....haha, do I sound like a valley girl or what. So ya, for thoes of you who were wondering about the boy in the last journal entry, the boy is Leif (although, by this point in time all of you already know, but oh well). We actually started going out on December 7/8...oh hell, I'll let him have this one, Dec. 8th, and it's been a month now. It's wonderful, really actually wonderful. I haven't had to fight with him about stupid things, if there's a issue, we just discuss it, that doesn't mean it gets solved, but it's not a secret that has to build up inside of me like problems usually do, like ticking time bombs that all of a sudden explode all over the offending and unexpecting boyfriends formerly in question, everything's all out in the open, no stess, I like that. It also doesn't hurt that all my friends like him, and my actual and adopted parent(s) too :). Ya know what, hell, I like him. My one friend, who as a rule is not fond of people who date me, said to me at Porneoke (Porn + Karaoke....don't ask) the other night that my new boyfriend was "a little goofy". Instead of agreeing with him or making some excuse, I just told him "ya, and that's the way I like them". And it's true, I can't date normal people, or "cool" people, it's just not my style. I like goofy, fun, smart boys. I like people who are nice, that are happy, that are respectful, and maybe don't think the entire world is against them. Leif seems to fit the bill, not to mention he's really hot. For the first time in my entire dating career, I actually feel like I want to or could see my boyfriend all the time. I usually don't like seeing them this much, but now I do. I think it may have to do with the fact that I was friends with him for a while before even before I liked him, that I loved spending time with him because he was one of my boys (hell when I moved up to Gainesville and away from all my girls I decided I would just have to make one of my guy friends into a girlfriend, and that was Leif, he probably heard more emotional stuff before we dated than he has during!). I can just talk to him forever, it's nice. Like in the very beginning of the school year, before school even started, we just sat in the common room and talked until 2 in the morning. He was there for all the terrible things at the end of my relationship with Travis, and as my resident girlfriend, he heard about them all. I remember going over to keep him company when he was coming down off a scary trip on extasy and duster, and how he came over to comfort me that same night when Travis tried to break up with me, I needed a friend, and that's what he was willing to be. I met him on the stairs that night, hurt and crying, and he just hugged me, and it made me feel better, just to be with someone who cared. I remember when we went swing dancing, when we were just friends, before I would admit to myself that I liked him and before he told me he liked me, how the instructor said that our main problem was that he was afraid to touch me....I remember being slightly confused, thinking "come on Leif, it's just me". I recall all those odd moments when we would hang out, just the two of us, and talk and he would randomly say something that guys usually only say when they like you or are trying to flirt with you, and I would just think to myself "nah, Leif doesn't like me, he's my friend." I finally allowed myself to like him when I heard he had stopped doing some of the drugs he had previously done, something really important to my becasue of previous experience. When I finally broke up with Travis, I wanted him to know. Because of how I am I was to terrified to tell him, but I felt that I at least had to see him, say that I was single in person. I soon got back together with Travis for all the wrong reasons, and as usual, talked to Leif about it. I knew that I was had to end it with Travis, I didn't like him anymore and he hadn't been good for me for a long time. I also knew that usually, whenever I actually like a guy, espically a friend, I never admit to it, he never finds out, and it comes to nothing. But I didn't want that this time, even though Leif still had to tell me he liked me first and had to practically drag it out of me, I actually told someone I liked them for once, and I've never had anything work out so well. I can just be silly and weird and goofy around him, and he actually likes me because of all that. He makes me feel good about myself, and I acutally like giving him compliments, which is new...and actually very nice. I like making him feel good. And I acutally have that long lost sex drive....which is also quite nice, but we're taking things slow, which is a good thing. And he's smart! yay, I love it when boys are smart! He actually has a vocabulary, sweet! I'm gonna get so spoiled by dating a smart, goofy kid. It's funny, I try and protect him from drugs, and he tries to protect me from things ranging from viruses to the sun. But that's ok, because it means he'll protect me from scary movies. It's so weird, I love going to scary movies, but I can't stand to watch the bad parts. I feel comfortable holding him, which is odd, since I usually don't like holding guys, but it's just kind of natural with him. I can't flirt with other guys like I used to, I'm so lame and domestic now...and I kinda like it. He was right, we are gonna be one of thoes disgusting couples, that are sickeningly cute, that make thoes around them want to wretch, truth be told I think I'd like that for a change, not the vomit so much, but the being disgustingly cute. He even plays nice with my sisters and the frat boys when I drag him to sorority events. And seriously, who wouldn't want to have their own personal viking? Come to think of it, who else can even say they have their own personal viking? That's right, just me, my viking...hehe. I love my viking.
Hmm....guess I never really got around to talking about christmas break, huh? oh well, in the next post.
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[05 Nov 2005|08:29pm] |
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something corporate...felt like revisiting 10th grade :) |
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ok, so it's been months since I updated....what can i say, facebook is addicting. so for thoes of you who haven't heard from me or others, I broke up with Travis. I had a random girly moment (they're involuntary i swear!) and joined a sorority. I love my college, well I've been a gator since birth but now it's official! I'm entering new dating territory...friend, and more than that, boy my own age...it looks like it's gonna be good for me. i'm definetly in a happy place.
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[22 Jul 2005|03:31pm] |
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ok, I've finally figured out a college plan that makes me happy. I'm going to major in Public Relations and minor in Theatre. So, theoretically, I can be my own agent! Now I just have to see if I can drop and add some classes on August 1st, contact the Fine Arts advisor, and see if all this will work. I'm gonna be really, really happy if it does. Well it's off to Target to buy dorm stuff...
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[02 Jul 2005|02:52am] |
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 absolutely fabulous |
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I'M IN CALIFORNIA!!!!!!
just left LA this evening, and now I'm at my cousin Shea's house in Santa Barbara.
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| summer trip |
[08 Jun 2005|11:57pm] |
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letterman in the next room |
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I'm so excited!!! I leave for summer trip on friday!!! yay sailing trip and south beach regatta!
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[07 Jun 2005|02:25am] |
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so it's almost 2:30 in the morning and I have to work at ten...joy. I just can't seem to go to sleep. maybe it's because it's summer, maybe it's the convenience of a laptop with wireless internet, perhaps it's the piles of clothes, blankets, and bags on my twin bed that leave me only room to recline, but not to lay down? what ever it is, it has driven me to go through e-mail, journals, myspace, and now...updating. it's not so bad though, believe me this is not a complaint...I could be doing homework.
Well I hung out with Travis for the last time tonight before he returns to Gainesville tomorrow. I would see him before he leaves tomorrow, except I have to wash hair until 5. He's been down here for the past two weeks and it's been fabulous, I like having an in-town boyfriend. But he has to go back eventually to pay rent, find a job, and get away from his crazy parents(as much as I like them, they are completely insane). And because of his and my work, and my upcoming vacations, I won't get to see him for a month. But I will see him for 2 or 3 days after UF preview in july, I hope it's not uncomfortable with me staying at his apartment and his "roommate" being there and all. it would be really cool if she didn't hate me anymore. But, I'll get to see him, and that makes me happy. Man, I'm really gonna miss him...
I am so excited about summer trip!!! we (sailing crew) leave for miami on friday, then fort meyers, then key west, then the dry tortugas, back to key west, back to fort meyers, then home. all in 7 days. yay!!!! One of the best things about summer trip, we all get killer tans, I come back looking puerto rican, it's great!
So my 18th birthday was great. went to mons venus on friday for steph's birthday (and mine at midnight). for some reason strippers like the girls who come in better than the guys. Lauren, Steph, Mel, and I, plus boys went. All the girls got lap dances, hilarious. there was some fully clothed dancing, and random other explicit events. On saturday (june 4th, my actualy b-day), after dinner with my family and Travis (he got me roses :)), we went out to ybor with Richard and Lauren. I had a lot of fun, mostly because I like to dance, even though I'm white and my rythm is sub-par, I have a big butt, so it evens things out. I still need to buy some lotto tickets...just a few things left to check off on the "now that I'm 18..." list, no cigarettes though...eww, cancer.
well that's about it for now, it's 3am and now that I've emptied my brain of topics I'm going to push the clutter off my bed, on to the floor, and go to sleep.
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[01 Jun 2005|04:58pm] |
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ok, so I turn 18 on saturday...yay. I'm trying to get some people together to go to a club in ybor, cuz I'm traditional like that :) if ya wanna go, lemme know.
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| Beach House |
[22 May 2005|08:35am] |
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so I'm getting a beach house again. yay! everyone should come out on wednesday,throwing a party. yay, keg. The house if rented from may 24-31 so feel free to come out anytime in there, but most espically wednesday day/night. It's on pass-a-grille beach (the same beach, not the same house, as last time, for thoes of you who were there for that). call me or shoot me some sort of message on here or aim if you wanna come and I'll give you the address. should be fun kids.
edit: calling me would probably be the best way of contacting me.
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[13 Apr 2005|08:40pm] |
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Julia has a boyfriend...:)
more like has had since prom, but I'm announcing it now, because I like to be fashionably late.
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[12 Apr 2005|02:40pm] |
I hate you wisdom teeth/stomach...I'm hopped up on all sorts of medication (antibiotics, tons of advil, and the occasional hydrocodine...blech, I hate medicine in large quanities). So I've been nauseous since sunday morning, it's tuesday afternoon, fun. Last night after an antibiotic and the 4th advil (I have to take 3 rounds of 4 advil a day) my stomach decided it didn't want to keep the advil down, along with anything I had eaten in the last 4 hours, and the puke scene from the exorcist ensues, save the head spinning and speaking in tongues. You think that getting it all up would relieve the nausea, no, still sick. Had to call off work again, sucky. Had to deal with dental receptionists who won't take me seriously because I'm under 25, worse. Hard calculus test, worst. I just want to be able to not feel nauseous all the time, be full of medicine, eat a fucking salad or something not made of mush, and drink caffinated drinks again, is that so much to ask?! I'm fed up with dental surgery, never again!
Hopefully I'll be well on saturday and can put thoes floor tickets for greenday in orlando to good use,
hopefully I can see Travis after the show...that would be nice.
on another note, I'm computer illiterate and can seem to figure out how to post pictures on here, someone please help me :)
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[16 Mar 2005|04:57pm] |
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hopeful - twista and faith hill...rap, wtf. |
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Today sucked, immensely.
So last night we had the sungoddess pagent preliminaries, sucky. I was the first one out of 58 girls to have to parade around the stage and answer an impromptu question, the first fucking one! My question was what city I would most like to visit in the world, and why. I said London, but I was so nervous I started talking about parlament and some other complete bullshit, about halfway through I realized that what I was saying was totally fake, and admitted to the audience and judges that, truthfully, London just had really great shopping...atleast they laughed. But I'm not in the top 20, and that sux. Not a single person from Bogie made it.
This morning we got report cards, I got my first C ever. C really does stand for calculus...and to think I used to like math... I mean seriously, I'm catholic, we burned tons of people at the stake, we should have burned Newton when we had the chance! It's also time for Fisher to stop being a smart ass, it's like "ok, you've made your point, you said last year that calculus was going to kill me, and it did. you've been basically calling half the class stupid for, what, the entire year...just shut up! you win."
Then I had to deal with Sessa, and as if that alone wasn't bad enough, he proceeded to crush my dreams. The indian kid beat me, by a tenth of a point(i have a 4.627, he has a 4.633). I'm not Salutatorian. Ujie got it, and not that he didn't deserve it, he did, I just wanted it really bad, really, really bad. And don't ya know, the one grade that pushed me over, that stupid B I got in calc first quarter...goddamn calculus!!!! Die evil math!!!!
So, things are sad... :( dreams are thrown to the wind :( and it sux, big time :(
but, and this is for Jessie's benefit (in regards to what she thought after I got that B in calc), I am not suicidal, I'm just a little sad and I need a hug from someone who won't try to give me advice and talk about shit they don't know.
On a much happier note...I have a date to Prom...Yay!!!
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[07 Mar 2005|02:01pm] |
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"You're really something special, you know that"...dry spell is over
I was all excited about going up to Gainseville for a bunch of reasons, one reason that was years in the making, but now new elements have been thrown into the mix, and I have some thinking to do, but for now I'll just be happy being single and cared about.
On another note...prom dates, or the lack there of...grrr
And on yet another note...drum roll please....
CAROLINE'S LEGAL!!!!!!! HAPPY 18th!!!!!
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[17 Feb 2005|06:15pm] |
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umm,none...i'm in an office. |
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ok, so my computer died. lovely.
it started making bad noises and went into "safe mode"....stupid machine.
so my mom ordered a couple laptops, since I'm gonna need one for college anyway, they should be here soon, but who knows.
so I'm posting from my mom's office.
however, stupid me, forgot my aim password and didn't change it before my computer died. and, again, it's not like I backed anything up. fabulous.
so guys, could you comment and leave your screen name and anyone elses we mutually know, because that would be really awesome.
on another note, the german chic hates me, so that's good. but then again...she hates everyone, like the homeless and the tsunami victims.
green day and my chem at the sundome on April 18th, pre-sale tickets go on sale tomorrow, general sale on saturday...call me (656-4288) if you wanna go. don't post, cuz, obviously, I won't see it...
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buternifebandit's journal
fucking wisdom teeth....